healthy

Here is the blog I intended on posting Sunday, July 12, 2009.


" haven't been myself lately
...and still tryin to figure out why.

'so what can i say? what can i do? but offer this heart, oh God.
completely to You.'"


so back to today:

here is what i'm learning. "The desire to know God's guidance is a sign of spiritual health." HEALTH. Not weakness. Yet every time I came to God so desperate, I felt weak. I felt that I wasn't fulfilling the duties He had put before me. I couldn't keep up with the work He assigned. I was pretty much saying that God couldn't work in the situations I have been a part of... without me.
Could I have made our God any smaller?

see, I bet you're thinking 'No, she couldn't have.' BUT I betcha I could. I absolutely could have made Him even smaller than I was if I kept pushing in that direction. But that is one more thing that is so precious about His nature. Not only did He equip me for the work He has placed, He also gave me an outlet to recharge - Him.
Yes, He gave me a heart that yearns to see His light in awful situations.
Yes, He gave me the wisdom to understand the big picture.
Yes, He only allows me to see one step at a time.
and Yes, He put a fire in me that gets feisty when it's not working and 'weak' when I feel like I can't handle it alone.

BUT HELLO! I'm not made to do it alone, so of course I'm pushed until I can't handle it. He calls me to be an active member in our club- not the president. I've got to remember that.

So back to the desire to know God's guidance being a sign of spiritual health, and not weakness. That desire dwells in healthy believers- something I am understanding and yearning to become.
Healthy believers:
-want to please God
-love obedience
-find joy in doing God's will
Healthy believers' purpose is living in a way that shows gratitude, and as they grow spiritually, that desire continually becomes stronger.

God is all about the big picture, and about only breaking down and dissecting bits and pieces for us to handle at one time, and getting to know Him more intimately through the process. Why do we get angry when He doesn't reveal the entire outcome? WE COULDN'T HANDLE OR UNDERSTAND IT! We get so deep into the little pieces that we know. Think about what we'd do with the whole picture. Well, I know what I'd do at least.



I'm ready to be healthy.
"So I’ll stand
With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the One who gave it all
So I’ll stand
My soul Lord to You surrendered
All I am is Yours"