Community and Dating Intro

August 6, 2007.
The day Luke and I started our dating relationship.
We were so young. It seems like forever ago, but looking at it with a big picture lens, it seems like yesterday.

Luke and I have learned so much since we've been together. It's amazing what can be packed into three and a half years. I can barely remember the firsts. But if there is one thing I do remember, it's our struggle to find a way to make God the center of our relationship, and not only understanding what that means, but living it.

Everyone we know says our relationship is different. We've grown to accept that, in the most positive way we could. We couldn't explain it, although we felt that it was different also. We knew a lot of it had to do with the Lord, but we also knew so many other Christian couples that were in the same boat as we were. We saw Christian relationships work. We saw Christian relationships fail. And by the grace of the Lord, ours hasn't.

In my struggle throughout the years to understand just what we were supposed to do in our lives to keep us strong in the Lord, I came across many answers. Some right, some very wrong. It's extremely difficult to live life with someone in a relationship that doesn't have anything to model after. We sought after Biblical examples of dating relationships, but always fell short. Courtship? The title alone is creepy. So we pressed on and did our thing, keeping hearts aligned with His. Questioning most decisions, but standing strong in the answers we received. We didn't know what dating and the Lord looked like, but we wanted it. We weren't prepared to give us up, and we didn't feel like the Lord wanted that for us either. But somewhere along all of this, the Lord gave me an understanding that took a while to sink it, but I think I've finally discovered just what He was showing me throughout these dating years, and I'm finally ready to talk about it.

What the Lord has shown me about dating and about my relationship with Luke is exactly what we asked and prayed and sought after: a model.


As Christians, we live after a model. That model is Jesus. We have a Bible full of instructions and how-tos. We have answers. Some are clear, some require a lot of faith, but at least it's something to go to when we have questions. Luke and I both knew that there had to be something for us to model our relationship together after. And what I'm about to discuss is what the Lord has laid on my heart and given me a peace about with His answer to our question.

Community.


Living in a church who by name alone revolves around community has taught me so much about my life, church, the Lord, and my relationship with Luke. Throughout the years of being in the Ring Community Church and dating Luke, the Lord would provide evidence little by little that would shape my understanding of this community vs. dating concept. Each community class I took, each sermon I heard on community, and every book I read about community, the Lord would use to show me that this is the model I was looking for. I would hear, read, or see truth about community and think to myself, "hmm. that's kind of like Luke and me." 
But one day if it finally clicked when I was reading the explanation of community groups in our church on our website.

Living Life Together. I read those lines and it all made sense. All the evidence the Lord gave me throughout the years while I was living and learning about community finally fit into place as He graciously handed me over my answer. My model.

Living life together. That's precisely what Luke and I are doing. Of course, there are other things that occur in a dating relationship that don't within a community of believers, but in a Kingdom/big picture perspective, Luke and I are simply living life together. Just like community. Just like our life with other believers. And that is what we've been modeling, are modeling, and will continue to model our relationship after. Community.

I don't know why I've decided to use this blog as an outlet to understand this. I don't know what it means for me, or for you, or for us, but I do know that there are a million things running stir crazy in my head and if I don't let them out and record them somewhere, well...I don't know what will happen, but I don't wanna find out.

So all of this to say that I'll be blogging this whole concept/revelation throughout the next days, weeks, months, heck maybe years. I have so much that is making sense, lining up, and itching to be let out, so that's what I'm going to do.

I know all of this will change drastically if we ever step into marriage. The Lord has a lot of specific things to say about marriage in the Bible. Luke and I will cross that bridge when the Lord (and IF the Lord) has it for us, but for now, we're going to work with what the Lord has given us today. And that is a dating relationship.

"living life together...that may be the easiest way to sum up what our community groups are all about. we believe that God uses our relationships with each other to grow and form us in ways we cannot see or understand. we strive to make our groups places where each person can grow in their faith, receive encouragement and hope, and know that they are loved and cared for. by meeting together each week, we are able to invest in each other as God continues to form us into a community of faith, hope, and love." 

-Taken from here.